tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26307151069070291192024-03-29T04:02:23.391-07:00LazybumtToT ✌FASHION, BEAUTY, AND MOREUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger114125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-57678520242801268822020-03-26T14:36:00.002-07:002020-03-31T22:31:41.844-07:00Panic AttacksPanic attacks, oh how confusing and frustrating of an experience they can be.<br />
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Growing up I never really knew what the extreme episodes of despair and helplessness I felt were, they'd come and go, usually in the most unexpected moments. I'd catch myself running out of breath, unable to control my mind, and feeling like the world is crumbling down all at once. Eventually they'd happen so often that you kind of know each time as a new occurrence takes place that "oh here it comes, brace yourself". But no matter how hard you try to prepare yourself for the imminent misfortune, when it hits, it hits hard. You'll never be able to sit through it without taking a huge blow to your mental stability. As your heart beats faster, almost like it's coming out of your chest, as you feel like you're being suffocated by the lack of oxygen caused by hyperventilation, as you feel crippled by the thoughts of despair and how you won't make it this time, underneath it all you beg for it to stop, and would give up anything for it to just end. </div>
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I had another one of these today. While I sat there I had the sudden urge to document the process. So I somehow managed to take out my phone and recorded myself while the panic attack happened. I felt my eyes engorged with tears as I struggled to breathe. I repeated over and over in my head to breathe in, breathe out, one at a time, in, and out... I couldn't hear, I couldn't see, all I could feel was the sheer panic of"oh no, not again...". I texted the few friends whom I've entrusted myself to talk to in the past while these episodes took place, desperately hoping someone would pull me out of the downward spiral that was rapidly engulfing me whole. They text back and remind me to breathe and drink water, while I continue to spiral. In those moments even the people you feel closest to stop feeling the same, you start to question the validity of your relationships with them and how much they really care about you, and even if they did care there could always a level of impersonation. "Everyone's got their own problems, you are the last of their worries, you can't rely on anyone else to care for you. You are being a burden, you are being pitiful, you can't continue to confide in others while you're going through these things because no one can help you and you are just embarrassing yourself. You are a no one, not to them, not to anyone. Your problems mean nothing." These thoughts ran across my mind as I felt more tears in my eyes, so much but they won't come out for the life of me for some damn reason. I just wanted to cry and release, I wanted to be set free. I felt like maybe the tears would give me an outlet to feel better but they just held on for dear life and I felt more helpless and stuck than ever. And so, I sat in silence, eyes engorged with tears, head spinning, running out of breath, with my fears, shame, and lack of sense of self...</div>
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While I sat there and watched myself in the video I was recording it almost felt like an out of body experience. What looked back at me didn't feel like me, I couldn't relate or connect to the face staring back at me. She looked like she was taking some deep breaths but there wasn't any sign of panic. It almost looked pretentious to me. Was she struggling? Didn't seem like it. It actually looked like she was trying to pretend to be having a hard time. Is this what people see when I have a panic attack? Is this why there are more people out there struggling with this but we don't hear about the struggles as often as we should? These thoughts feel like pure lunacy, and nothing makes sense. Not the panic attacks themselves and not the thoughts that follow. The panic attack happened nearly two hours ago yet I'm still left feeling crippled as I'm sitting here typing these words. Why am I like this, why does this always happen, and why do I feel so worthless? How can I love myself when I'm so broken that I don't even know how to fix myself? How can things get better if they never stop? </div>
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I feel angry and frustrated at myself for not being to fix things, I feel helpless in knowing that no one else can really do much for me, especially when they don't know what it all feels like. I am grateful for my friends for putting up with me all these years while I struggled through episodes after episodes. But to their disappointment and mine, these episodes never stopped, and doesn't feel like they will stop any time soon. </div>
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I don't want to give in and think I will never get better. But not knowing why I struggle in the first place doesn't make staying positive an easy endeavor. I guess knowing I'm not the only one in this world who struggles like this does make things feel a little less scary. And for those of you out there with the same struggles I feel for you. I hope one day we can all rise above this and feel better again...</div>
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(About 3 weeks med free, but maybe it wasn't the best decision to get off in the first place? Maybe a post about my medication experiences in the next post?)<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-27532377139560899822018-04-05T12:19:00.000-07:002018-04-05T12:25:53.078-07:00How Social Media Has Changed Over the YearsLately I've been feeling stuck and somewhat frustrated with the projection of my social media channels. I have been out of the game for awhile and things have really changed from what I remembered. I feel like there are so much advertisement, promotions and... frills. Every video/ post is another push for a product. I get that companies are trying to get their products to sell but seeing how this has become the predominant nature of social media content kind of... discourages me. As a young woman in my mid twenties I feel like there are various concerns that I'm growing to have as I age, but why aren't those things talked about on social media? Every account out there seems to only show the beautiful, happy, funny moments of their lives filled with sponsorships and free trips offered by partnering companies. But what about actual concerns like what do I do when I'm starting to see wrinkles and sagging? What do I do when I start to gain weight due to a slower metabolism? Yes it's nice to see bloggers post pretty pictures of themselves in fashionable clothes and go on exotic vacation trips. It's nice to see visually pleasing things. But at the same time they also make me feel like how come I'm not as pretty or why can't I afford to go on those trips and have that life style? :( Why don't people talk about their every day struggles on social media? What about mental health? What about things that worry us and things that we don't understand? On the rare occasions that I do see people talk about these things on the slightest, the response from the audience is usually some sort of backlash, showing disdain towards one's "vanity". But is it really vanity when every other person on social media also has these concerns and may even seek alterations but never talks about it? Does the audiences even want to see or watch anything aside from the pretty and happy? I don't even know. I don't want to be another sheep in the crowd surrounded by an invisible bubble of convention. But what I notice is that on posts and videos that I "follow the trend and what's in" there is usually a higher and more positive reception from the audience. Then the question becomes do I want to conform to create content for the audience to "like" me and to grow my social media as a business or do I just want to create content that I like and feel truthful and honest to myself? Why do I even post on social media? Ideally I would like to post things I want to post and have the appropriate exposure with the right people who are interested to see that type of content but social media has evolved into something that if you don't "follow" the crowd then you'll inevitably "fail". So I guess the struggle continues...<br />
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I miss the days when social media was relatable.<br />
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Anyway, I just had this little thought dialogue in my head today.<br />
Thought I'd share.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-81180610889302529672018-04-03T13:35:00.000-07:002018-04-05T10:07:14.266-07:00All About Dark Circles: Prevention, Concealing, and Cosmetic Procedures (Bonus: Tarte Shape Tape Concealer Drugstore Dupes)Having dark circles is probably one of the most frustrating issues I face on a daily basis. I was born with genetic dark circles so no matter how much rest I get I still have pesty hollowness accompanied by perpetual darkness under the eyes. Over the years I've accumulated makeup techniques to mask the appearance of them to look more brightened and awake; however, the underlying problems persist due to genetic factors.<br />
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In this blogpost I would like to show you guys how I conceal my dark circles using cosmetics and the holy grail products that I swear by. Later in the post I will include more in depth information provided by Dr. Ho Taghva from Lea Surgery in Newport Beach regarding dark circles and what are some ways we can look into to prevent and treat them both surgical and non-surgically.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtjzLopCr4fzttEg2KP_5DqzGVahlzu2tHkc1vviPmdrgyRWRq821bIJMN43r6q-x9AEvtlWcCcLFtFn72-mopbSV_Fup2NoZA1g-GV6yjypXB2FLMDw6vvuCtLtC7drY8g5myvPk6Lk/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.40.42+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="495" data-original-width="1039" height="152" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVtjzLopCr4fzttEg2KP_5DqzGVahlzu2tHkc1vviPmdrgyRWRq821bIJMN43r6q-x9AEvtlWcCcLFtFn72-mopbSV_Fup2NoZA1g-GV6yjypXB2FLMDw6vvuCtLtC7drY8g5myvPk6Lk/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.40.42+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">No Concealer</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNydChNPmQyZhx6W8naKCskX-Z5FoRB8JJHW8n4DMBPnZkQD7127RDdOCmgzAc1PvsRqncsl1IiRUNFZPfFyqk-ZnhWY2feuaBmaDeml4BOj9bzkZv6A4rfbvz2yVcxL625tXOFhkRkKw/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.39.51+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="543" data-original-width="1049" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhNydChNPmQyZhx6W8naKCskX-Z5FoRB8JJHW8n4DMBPnZkQD7127RDdOCmgzAc1PvsRqncsl1IiRUNFZPfFyqk-ZnhWY2feuaBmaDeml4BOj9bzkZv6A4rfbvz2yVcxL625tXOFhkRkKw/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.39.51+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Concealer + Banana Powder</td></tr>
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Concealers are my best friend when it comes to hiding dark circles. Though I have perpetual circles under the eyes they are rather neutral, without any particular coloring to them. Most days they just look...well, dark. Some people have blue circles due to exposed capillaries while others have darker shades of brown/ black due to hyperpigmentation. For me I think I fall into the latter category with a combination of hyper pigmentation and genetic hollowness, creating more shadows that contribute to the darkness. My holy grail product when it comes to hiding dark circles and any blemishes in general is hands down Tarte Shape Tape. I use the shade light neutral which is a perfect fit for my skin tone. I then will set the under eye area with Ben Nye's banana powder,<u> the two make a dream team to perfectly conceal my dark circles. </u><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="320" src="https://tartecosmetics.com/dw/image/v2/BBPW_PRD/on/demandware.static/-/Sites-master-catalog-tarte/default/dw16513e5f/836/1.5updatedimages/836-shape-tape-contour-concealer-light-neutral-DDB-main-img_MAIN.jpg?sw=2000&sh=2000&sm=fit" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tarte Shape Tape Concealer, Light Neutral, $27<br />
Can be purchased from the Tate website or Ulta Beauty. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Ben Nye Bella Luxury Powder - Banana" 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" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ben Nye Banana Powder, $13.50<br />
Can be purchased at various online stores</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Tarte Shape Tape is definitely full coverage and will hide just about anything ranging from discoloration to that overnight-grown cystic zit that you're dreading. I've even used this to conceal scabs from tattoo removal and the final finish was more than satisfactory. Given it's high coverage some people may find this product too cakey. But remember, a little goes a long way, and because of this one bottle of it will last a long time.<br />
<br />
Although Shape Tape works wonderfully well for my annoying dark circles and other blemishes it definitely isn't the most affordable option out there. But it's your lucky day friends, I have four drugstore alternatives that fits the bill, albeit not exact dupes, but they are up there in performance along side the Shape Tape.<br />
<br />
The first runner up is Wet n Wild Photo Focus Concealer, I use the shade Light Ivory. The shade range is rather limited and they all run a bit dark that's why I use the lightest shade in the range rather than Light/ Medium. But aside from those shortcomings it is honestly a great concealer. It is less thick in consistency compared to Tarte Shape Tape, which makes this product a lot more wearable for some and the finish of it is satin matte. There is no noticeable scent, and best of all, it is so affordable at $3.99 a pop. Can't beat that now, not for that price.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="320" src="https://www.wetnwildbeauty.com/media/catalog/product/cache/image/700x560/e9c3970ab036de70892d86c6d221abfe/8/4/840b1.png" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="259" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Wet n Wild Photo Focus Concealer, Light Ivory, $3.99<br />
Can be purchased from Wet n Wild's website, Ulta or any drugstore</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Next item is the HD Concealer Wand from NYX. This one also has great coverage, though a tad bit drier than the Wet n Wild one mentioned above. This product has a much better shade range, even including color correcting ones such as purple and green. If you have redness under the eyes, green would do well to counter that. And purple brightens darkness in general. One thing to note about the NYX Concealer Wand is that it could crease a bit if your under eye area isn't properly moisturized, so make sure to double up on the moisturization while using this product.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img height="320" src="https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/shopping?q=tbn:ANd9GcToSRLkZ0Is_VQWf7zGY5l2bRtLOGzDx2dmR1RbpEsCv9bIZQBCrHsf-BNyOAAcDr2JKWiHeFM&usqp=CAE" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NYX HD Concealer Wand, Light, $4.99<br />
Can be purchased from the NYX website, Ulta, or Target</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The colorwheel is a great tool for deciding which shade of makeup to go in to conceal based on what the undertone of your circles are:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for colorwheel" height="320" src="https://weallsew.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/4/2017/02/Color-Wheel-Basics-Full-RYB-color-wheel.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Use Complementary Colors to decide how to color correct</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
For instance, if I have really purple dark circles today I would go in with a yellower shade of concealer to conceal them.<br />
<br />
Next item comes from Makeup Revolution and this one has been all the hype lately due to its resemblance to Tarte Shape Tape. However, from personal experience I can tell you the actual products are not the same. Makeup Revolution Conceal and Define is a bit more liquidy and the coverage is not as opaque as Tarte Shape Tape, but for almost a fourth of the price, it is definitely a great alternative. It also gives more of a satin finish with a medium high coverage. I like this one when my skin is doing well and it does not crease under the eyes.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Makeup Revolution Conceal & Define - C1" height="301" 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" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Makeup Revolution Conceal & Define, C6, $7.00<br />
Can be purchased at Ulta or online on their website</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Last but not least on the list would be the Catrice Liquid Camouflage Concealer. This one performs similarly to that of NYX's HD Concealer Wand but I have some gripes with it. It has a strong floral fragrance, not the kind that's pleasant either, and the shade range is...sad. There are three shades only on the Ulta website and same on Amazon. All three shades are extremely light, even for a pale person like me. I use the shade 010 and it's a bit too light for me. Despite these issues it still is a good concealer in that it gives nice converage and has good lasting power. If you are pale, this could be a good one for you.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Catrice Liquid Camouflage Concealer" height="320" src="data:image/jpeg;base64,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" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Catrice Camouflage Concealer, 010, $5.99<br />
Can be purchased from Ulta or Amazon</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjukdlKkfUC8SdY954iYdH77RZoE9G_QksEvrLT_fISEitWC1n_jc5_HdbCVqmm0zBmCe2zfhLmh1UHEF7rlqBZAlepVDG7KPtuuaoHktD3oAiWivcDEAHDFhICAKgsCtS_Id9Bv-ZfyFE/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.39.14+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="395" data-original-width="820" height="153" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjukdlKkfUC8SdY954iYdH77RZoE9G_QksEvrLT_fISEitWC1n_jc5_HdbCVqmm0zBmCe2zfhLmh1UHEF7rlqBZAlepVDG7KPtuuaoHktD3oAiWivcDEAHDFhICAKgsCtS_Id9Bv-ZfyFE/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-04-04+at+9.39.14+PM.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Tarte Shape Tape, Wet n Wild, NYX, Makeup Revolution, Catrice</td></tr>
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Here's a video of my demonstration on how exactly I apply my concealer along with the banana powder:<br />
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Now onto the fun science stuff of today's topic!<br />
I partnered up with Dr. Goretti Ho Taghva from LEA Surgery, located in Newport Beach, to provide you guys with this segment. She is the doctor who performed my double eyelid surgery and I just adore her. Thank you Dr. Ho for taking the time out to bless us with your knowledge.<br />
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<span style="color: #9d6daa; font-family: "josefin sans"; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px;">Dr. Goretti Ho Taghva</span><br />
<a href="mailto:hello@leaplasticsurgery.com" style="color: #f6a1d4; font-family: 'Josefin Sans'; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-decoration: none;">hello@leaplasticsurgery.com</a><br />
<a href="https://leaplasticsurgery.com/" style="color: #f6a1d4; font-family: 'Josefin Sans'; font-size: 14.8500003814697px; line-height: 20.7900009155273px; text-decoration: none;">https://leaplasticsurgery.com/</a><br />
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Basically there are five main categories of dark circles, and here are each of the five types, including prevention and surgical/ non-surgical methods to treat them:<br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">1) Thin Skin: eyelid skin is the thinnest in the entire body, so it’s easy to see through the underlying capillaries. This can cast a dark shadow on the lower eyelid skin (especially when it’s contrasted to thicker skin around the lower eyelid area e.g. cheeks where it’s usually of a lighter hue because it’s thicker). That’s why sleep deprivation and dehydration may worsen the dark circles because they slow down circulation. There are cosmetic products that contain Vitamin K for this reason to increase circulation, minimize homeostasis etc. The jury is still out on its efficacy but I think </span></span><u style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">lifestyle and diet changes e.g. eating Vitamin K leafy vegetables, staying hydrated and exercising may help.</u><span style="font-family: "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"> </span></span></i></div>
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<i>2) Hyperpigmentation: sometimes dark circles can be caused by hyperpigmentation in the lower eyelid area (so when you press on the skin or move the skin slightly it doesn't blanche/ lighten) if this was the case then it may be <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">lightened with certain topical ingredients such as hydroquinone (LBT: I've heard this can cause cancer though? so maybe use with caution. I could also have heard wrong...lol), licorice and kojic acid. To treat deeper discoloration, certain lasers may help.</span></i></div>
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<i>3) Skin Trauma: (genetics, chronic wear and tear with make up application/ rubbing eyelids because of allergies etc). For this type of dark circles, minimizing trauma to the area and skin care regimen is important. Retinoid <span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">creams can be used underneath the eyes to build collagen and plump your skin. Use a rich eye cream that will keep the eyelid area moisturized to prevent further irritation and strengthen the skin. </span></i></div>
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<i><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: 12.8000001907349px;">Also, allergies</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"> can cause the blood vessels underneath the eyes to dilate, worsening dark circles, so anti-allergic medications (antihistamines) like Claritin, will help. </span></i></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>4) Hollowness under the eyes: if this is the reason why the dark circles look worse then one should consider injection of a hyaluronic-acid filler into the tear trough area to plump it up. I personally prefer Juvaderm-Volbella or Restylane-Refyne in this delicate area because there’s less chance of bumpiness and Tyndall effect. For longer lasting results, fat transfer is also an option.My philosophy is that the lower eyelid and the cheeks are inseparable, so most of the time the filler is injected to the tear trough/ cheek area to plump up the entire lid cheek junction for more optimal outcome. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>5) Last but not least, eyebags/ puffiness:</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><i>Lack of sleep, salt/ spicy food intake, and alcohol etc can lead to water retention and exacerbate swelling. Some at home remedies to treat this type of under eye issue include cold compress (LBT: I've heard cooled green tea bags work well for this?) and sleeping with mild head elevation. If the puffiness is present all the time in spite of this then one should consult a plastic surgeon (Dr. HO: me lol!) for a procedure called a lower blepharoplasty to remove/ reposition the lower eyelid fat and maybe remove extra skin to tighten the lower lid area. </i></span></div>
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Thanks Dr. Ho for the in depth explanation! </div>
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Dark circles and under eye problems can really dampen one's appearance and mood, but with the proper lifestyle changes, makeup, and cosmetic procedures, we can kick them to the curb and look fabulous! Hope this blogpost was informative and helpful. </div>
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Until next time. </div>
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-LBT</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-35969932466061384232018-03-25T22:05:00.001-07:002018-03-25T22:06:21.266-07:002018 Lookbook (Streetwear) My very first lookbook of 2018! My style has changed drastically over the years, I'm constantly trying different looks and finding new elements that intrigue me. Here I put together five looks that reflect my current style. I would say it's a combination of streetchic and casual baddie. Of course I wouldn't recommend these looks for a corporate environment (cough, sometimes I show up to work like this... -_-") but they are definitely fire for casual everyday wear. The inspiration for this video came from the 80's/ 90's VHS style, I really liked the vintage and distorted feel. This is the first of many lookbooks I'm going to put out this year, I've got a few ideas running in my head already for the next one. It's so nice to be back at blogging again, this time around I'm putting out content that I want to and I feel stoked about them. There are people out there who won't want to fk with my current state but that's quite okay, I think being able to enjoy what I do and being excited about creating content is what's most important to me. And of course, thank you to everyone who's always been supportive and to the newcomers as well who are showing me some love.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-41748888192851852262018-03-20T14:59:00.000-07:002018-03-25T21:58:08.874-07:00Double Eyelid Surgery (Full Incisional Upper Blepharoplasty and Epicanthoplasty) - 3 Year Comprehensive Update (Why I got Surgery, my non-invisional surgery prior, what they look like now, etc.)Time flies, it's been a little over three years now since I've gotten incisional upper blepharoplasty and epicanthoplasty with Dr. Goretti Ho Taghva from Lea Plastic Surgery (She used to work for Wave Surgery in Korea Town but she's opening up her own practice soon in Newport!) And I honestly still have to say that it was the best decision I've made for myself.<br />
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Growing up my eyelids have always been mischievous, having a personality entirely of their own, utterly unpredictable. I'd wake up some mornings with one double eyelid, sometimes neither even. Only on those rare good days would they both appear, but that wasn't even a guarantee, one of them may choose to disappear at a random point in the day. Because of this dilemma I've learned to explore different options to manually create double eyelids at a very young age (I think around 11). I've tried tape, glue, mesh, you name it, I've probably tried it. Although with the aid of these tools I was able to even out my eyelids when needed, the results were rather short lived and over time the stretching and pulling from these methods made my eyelids very droopy. Slowly buy surely my constant worrying over double eyelids became an obsession and this insecurity made me feel ugly. I knew that one day I would opt for surgery to fix this issue once and for all.<br />
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After some intensive research I knew my options included two major groups: suture method vs incisional method. The first method was much less invasive in that a suture is placed inside the eyelid (kind of like sewing) to force a crease in the eyelid. There is no cutting thus down time would be significantly shorter as well. The second option includes actual cutting of the eyelid, where an incision is made in the upper eyelid and some skin and or fat may be removed. The eyelid is then sewn back together to create a permanent fold. There are up and down sides to both procedures. Though one has a shorter downtime and less chance of significant scarring, the retention is much inferior compared to the latter method. And while the full incisional method yields a more permanent result, the outcome may involve longer down time and tougher recovery with higher chances of scarring.<br />
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At the time the word surgery just gave me an eerie feeling, it was rather scary to even consider "going under the knife". But I knew I had to do something about my uneven eyelids before it drove me completely insane. At the age of 21 I opted for the less invasion, non-incisional suture method and got this procedure done in a clinic in Beijing, China. The process was short, I was in and out in less than 30 minutes and there was no blood or intense bruising. I was able to wear makeup within that week and the results were rather...natural after healing. However, the results were also short lived. Within six months after the experience my eyelids reverted back to how they looked before. It was as if I had never gotten them done. You can read about my non-incisional method experience in this blog post:<br />
<a href="http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2013/10/double-eyelid-surgery-pics-need-to-be.html">http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2013/10/double-eyelid-surgery-pics-need-to-be.html</a><br />
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Two years later I've really had it with my eyelids and decided I would get the full incisional method and just have them cut open once and for all. This time around I didn't do a lot of research on which Doctor to seek help from. It was by random chance that I walked into a consultation office in the plaza where I had worked at the time. After some brief consultation I decided I would get the surgery with Dr Goretti Ho Taghva. (Now looking back maybe it was fate because I really hadn't done thorough research and I had no idea how Dr Ho's skills were.) Call it fate or whatever it was, I'm so happy that I had gotten the surgery with her because not only was she BEAUTIFUL but she was also patient, kind, and honest. My interaction with her felt natural and I didn't feel like I had to get more procedures done other than what I had initially wanted. She was very thorough with explaining what needed to be done for me the achieve the results I wanted and because of that I had very realistic expectations. Here I am three years later, still really happy with my results.<br />
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Plastic surgery can be intimidating and can often times be considered taboo to many. Not to mention its addictive nature too that makes it potentially detrimental. It used to be something looked down upon frequently but has become more and more widely acceptable in recent years. With any procedure comes with risks, the key to a successful operation involves great communication with a good surgeon and realistic expectations. Having a reasonable incentive for opting for surgery allows you to upgrade yourself without becoming overly obsessive about it. It is not wrong to get plastic surgery if in the end it helps you look more beautiful inside and out. And with that being said, I hope this post was helpful and good luck to you if you are looking to get the procedure done as well.<br />
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Watch the story in video</div>
<br />
<br />
Read about my initial experience here:<br />
<a href="http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2015/01/full-incisional-upper-blepharoplasty.html">http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2015/01/full-incisional-upper-blepharoplasty.html</a><br />
<br />
Aftercare tips:<br />
<a href="http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2015/01/upper-blepharoplasty-epicanthoplasty.html">http://lazybumtotbeauty.blogspot.com/2015/01/upper-blepharoplasty-epicanthoplasty.html</a><br />
<br />
Dr. Goretti Ho Taghva<br />
<a href="mailto:hello@leaplasticsurgery.com">hello@leaplasticsurgery.com</a><br />
<a href="https://leaplasticsurgery.com/">https://leaplasticsurgery.com/</a><br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-61857820500694637772017-07-06T21:38:00.001-07:002017-07-06T21:38:56.562-07:00Zero to Ready in Less than 20 Mins <br />
I've finally decided it was time to come back and start making videos again. It look me a lot of time to think, re-think, and think again, whether or not I wanted to come back and continue with LazybumToT. Over the years I've become insecure, and insincere with the content I was putting out. All I cared about was whether or not I can visually please people and sell the products I was sponsored. I had forgotten the real purpose to which I created this channel, to share my happiness with you guys, from creating.<br />
<br />
So here I am, with that strengthened purpose, I come back with the utter most sincerity, to shamelessly be me.<br />
<br />
This look takes it back to where we started, a simple, time saving look that makes me feel beautiful without too much effort to create.<br />
<br />
I hope you enjoy it.<br />
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❤<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-70515387589319287332017-05-04T16:25:00.004-07:002017-05-04T16:29:41.034-07:00Memories and the Little Pieces of Me I Have Given AwayIn a super nostalgic mood today. I wouldn't necessarily call it a sadness that I'm feeling, but there's a hint of ... longing.<br />
Memories tend to play little tricks and affect our hearts in a way that almost hurts, but hurts in a way that makes you want to feel it over and over again.<br />
<br />
Memories sometimes make me feel like I want to go back in time and relive them. Or make an effort to create more of the same memories with people who are no longer in my life. The brain likes to play little tricks and only remember the warm, fuzzy moments that made us feel whole and complete. The times when they made you smile with the tiniest gesture, the moments when you locked eyes and everything just felt...right. Despite how things didn't work those memories will always find a way to creep back up and remind you of how "perfect" everything once used to be. The few seconds in which I sometimes relive those feelings with slightly altered conditions by the brain (to make things appear even more perfect, did they really take place? Sometimes I don't even remember), leads me to feel a brief sense of warmth and intimacy with what once WAS. As those brief moments pass I get reminded again of reality, and how those memories are merely shadows from the past. Pleasure, followed by disappointment, hollowness, and pain? Yet the mind tricks me to replay those snippets over and over again on days like today. A bit masochistic, aren't I.<br />
<br />
I am fully aware of the fact that I have a highly addictive personality, whether it be with people or things. I become attached quickly and invest emotionally to an extent that gives up a part of myself. As people and things come and go in my life, so do those little parts that I give away. These little "gifts" that I pack up and present to others sometimes get tossed in the trash and become spoiled, and that's the last I'll ever see them. Overtime I become more and more hollow because I haven't learned the lesson of not giving away any part of yourself no matter what the game of life might deal you with.<br />
<br />
These are lessons with which I should finally realize, that only by loving yourself and filling your heart with unconditional love can you then, become wholesome, ready to face anything that comes knocking.<br />
<br />
Today was one of those days. A reminder that these snippets in time that no longer are, the pieces that I have given away, all serve to teach me a valuable lesson in love, and life.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
...<br />
But I miss you.<br />
And the US that once was.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
-Words From a Dramatic Hopeless Romantic =PUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-84650114309653102772017-03-31T13:20:00.000-07:002017-03-31T13:20:00.532-07:00Invisible ContentmentToday's post will be slightly different from all the other ones lately. I've been struggling internally to find a place where I can be content and stay there. It has been a conscious effort to keep positivity and motivation. However, amidst all this effort, I suddenly realized today that I was HAPPY. I didn't need to think about being happy, or make an effort to be happy, or force myself to acknowledge some sort of gratefulness from a conscious mental reminder.<br />
<br />
As I stood in the middle of the parking lot with the sun shining over my head, at some random moment during the day, I felt myself smiling, for absolutely no reason.<br />
<br />
IT WAS THE BEST FEELING EVER.<br />
<br />
I just wanted to share this with the world. It was AMAZING.<br />
<br />
Smiling just because, for no absolute reason, because we can.<br />
<br />
:)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
End of post.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-20071529504062293352017-03-23T14:18:00.001-07:002017-03-23T14:18:43.531-07:00More Fucking Lemons from Life and How I RespondedJust when you feel like you made some bomb ass lemonade from the sour lemons life threw at you more came along.<br />
<br />
FUCK.<br />
<br />
"Positive Mental Attitude. I read this in a book. Keep your mind in a positive state and don't let those sour lemons sting your eyes." These are the thoughts that went through my mind. But to be honest, how many of us can really shift our mind sets under immense stress and negativity? I tried to tell myself that it isn't the end of the world but the negative thoughts are like pesty flies attacking a piece of rotten meat, relentless. This had been day... 3 or 4 of my attempt for "acceptance" for a situation that was completely due to "bad luck" or some "evil energy" lurking in the background that I had no control over.<br />
<br />
Surprisingly I was handling it pretty well for the past few days. I hadn't freaked out at all up until this point albeit the shitty situation at hand and honestly I was low key proud of myself. But then life threw more sour lemons at me. WHAT?! MULTIPLE SHITTY VARIABLES AND EXPONENTIAL AMOUNT OF SOUR LEMONS?! I felt a gush of panic flow through my chest and my head started spinning. I realized that, shit, I'm not good at handling multiple shitty situations at once. (LOL) At this point I tried everything I possibly could to convince myself to practice a positive mental attitude, but the panic felt so overwhelming that my entire body felt sick. One thing led to another, and before I knew it I created a downward spiral with a bunch of useless info from the darkness of my subconscious...<br />
<br />
This was yesterday, let's fast forward to today, to this moment. I FEEL FINE. I didn't die. This morning came just like any other morning. I got out of bed and came to work and ate breakfast and worked. Just like any other morning. I worked out. Now I'm sitting here, feeling pretty decently. How did I get through the panic? I CONTINUED WITH WHAT I HAD TO DO AND KEPT LIVING.<br />
I know that sounds really stupid but I literally told myself to continue to do what I need to do and despite how shitty I felt in that moment to keep going. I went to Target and got a few things I needed, went home and made myself chicken noodle soup from a can (when you are sick and congested this is the best thing right?...-_- this is the best I can do lol.), then knocked the fuck out for an hour because at this point my body mentally and physically could not handle anything. But then I woke up and continued some more with life and yesterday turned into today, and here I am, and guess what, THINGS ARE OKAY.<br />
<br />
Back to the situation that I was stressing over, now looking in retrospect, that one point it was just out of my hands and no matter how much I stress and freak out, I did the best I could and that should be enough. I shouldn't have been so tough on myself to cause all the unnecessary pain and pressure on my already uncomfortable body from acquiring a cold from someone at work. But this was what I was used to doing, create negative feed back loops that cause more negative thoughts to be created. What I learned from yesterday was that despite how shitty and terrible you may feel in any particular moment, life doesn't wait for you, and you have to continue regardless of how you feel. Once you make it past that hurdle what's facing you ahead is a new day that has endless potentials for positivity, only if you want them. Because I didn't let myself stop and give up on my routine and disciplines I was able to regain a sense of control compared to the panic I felt the other day. I was able to create some sort of motivation to propel myself in a positive direction.<br />
<br />
So the take away lesson from this long and ranty post is that, (as stupid and duh as this sounds) just keep going. <3<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-5955784568751824172017-03-17T14:56:00.000-07:002017-03-17T14:56:42.354-07:00Vulnerability Under Stress Panic attack strikes again.<br />
<br />
"Life throws you lemons. You make lemonade."<br />
Easier said than done. Sometimes the lemons that life throws at me are so sour that they sting my eyes, they make me tear up, they make me feel defeated, and they make me feel like the world is going to end in that moment.<br />
<br />
The weeks on end of radical self help and attempt at improvement has really helped, I think. Compared to the state I was in a few weeks ago. But this isn't something that can be fixed in a few short weeks. My anxiety is caused by deep rooted bad habits and my pessimistic mind's inclination to catastrophize very scenario until I corner myself and render myself useless. Upon realizing today that I really have no one else to rely on for things like these and in frantic, helpless moments like these other than... myself, my panic attack struck hard.<br />
<br />
"Life throws you lemons."<br />
Sometimes it IS like that, LIFE, THROWS lemons at you. You didn't ask for those lemons, you didn't ask for life to throw them at you, but it just does, and it throws these sour lemons at you when you think you are starting to do all the right things finally and things are going to be better. And then Bam! Sour fucking lemons in the face. What do you do? You can choose to be like me, become completely useless and self blame and dwell, or you can pick up those fucking sour lemons and throw it back at life. I'm currently writing this in attempt to convince myself to do just that.<br />
<br />
My breathing is more contained now, I feel a little less fucking crazy, and looking back now, I was actually already doing the right things to throw those sour lemons back at life. But why didn't I give myself credit in those moments? I took immediate attention when I realized I had failed to apply for something that would require a bit of time and jumped on it right away. I called corresponding parties to inquire whether the remaining days would be enough time if I had taken action immediately now. They told me it should be okay. All I had to do was start and finish, even though the schedule is tight, but it's not un-doable. Things are fine then right? Nope, my mind continued to race and my heart palpitated with a tempo that rushed a shit load of blood into my brain, all of which led to my panic attack mentioned above. In moments like these I always feel SO ALONE. I feel useless, I feel like crying, I feel like I need someone to be there for me. But I failed to see that I am actually REALLY STRONG, and SMART. I knew what to do to try to fix the problem at hand, and I knew I had to put in hard work for something that might not even work out, and I also knew that I would be okay to take the responsibilities if that was the case. BUT. I didn't give myself credit for knowing all of that. My mind immediately went to look for comfort externally, when really, deep inside, I already took care of myself, I already took the actions necessary to prevent any more mistakes being made.<br />
<br />
"Life throws you lemons."<br />
I already knew how to make that lemonade. Maybe it's a sour lemonade, but I had it in myself to make something out of it. I just didn't and wasn't able to see it.<br />
<br />
I'm understanding a bit more about myself each day, and every day I'm growing a bit stronger.<br />
This, I think, is learning to love myself.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-83842497355063545932017-03-13T17:00:00.000-07:002017-03-14T23:47:49.123-07:00Taking "Me" TimeOnce in a while I will take a "me" day to mentally and physically give myself a break from work and life. I think it's essential to do that for ourselves here and there to rejuvenate and refocus. Normally on a day like this I would sleep in and watch TV in bed all day. But yesterday I took the liberty to give this day of "me time" some more value and actively engaged in activities that nurtured my soul.<br />
<br />
I let myself sleep in and embarked on "me day" with a late start. The sun was shining brightly outside and my heart felt the slightest bit of warmth despite my previous onset of "internal cloudy days". I climbed out of bed and got dressed in the most comfortable outfit that hugged my body ever so gently. By now it had been lunch time and for the first time in a long time I encouraged myself to eat at a restaurant alone. So with my book and purse in hand, I stepped out the door to welcome the rest of "me day".<br />
<br />
Lunch consisted of yummy pan fried pork buns with a side of sweet soy milk. Asian dishes like these often give me a sense of comfort and that day it didn't fail either. As I flipped through the pages of my "feel good" book and indulged in my simple lunch I felt a sense of peacefulness, in the stillness of my rediscovered autonomy.<br />
<br />
Following lunch I drove to the nearest coffee joint and sat down with a nice cup of brew and just read. A few hours went by and still ... I felt a sense of peacefulness.<br />
<br />
As the rays of sunshine peaked through strands of my hair they lit up the pages I read, and warmed my heart a bit more. I stood up from the couch and walked out of the coffee shop with a breezy calmness.<br />
<br />
I found myself sitting in central park awhile later, fully letting the sun embrace my body, every inch of it, and indulged in the moment for it made me feel whole, and it gave me love. In that moment, I felt fulfillment. It felt familiar, yet foreign, but it felt so good that I became teary eyed. I look around and just let this moment sink in. The sun, the green grass, shady trees with children running underneath, the children's laughter... All of this was so beautiful to me. I took a deep breath in and told myself that this, was love.<br />
<br />
Suddenly, I realized that I was smiling...<br />
<br />
<br />
Even though a day like this happens very rarely for me in my current state, on the rare occasion that it does take place, I'm reminded of how beautiful and amazing life really is. And that if we just allow ourselves to experience it this way more often, heart hearts could be that much fuller.<br />
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Yum. </div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-32743523514255823372017-03-06T11:09:00.002-08:002017-03-06T11:26:26.809-08:00What a 6 AM Workout Did For MeUpon realizing that I had to get my shit together and change the way I've been living for the last 25 years of my life, this also included a radical incorporation of daily gym sessions compared to the 1-2 times a week prior. Originally I was going after work, around 5-6 PM, and finished around 7-8, this would mean the rest of my evening really involved eating, showering, and nothing else. I then decided it would be much more efficient to get gym out of the way during my 1 hr lunch break, and that was a game changer because it freed up so much time after work. I now had time to go out to dinner with friends or just sit back and read a good book (on radical self help... lol).<br />
<br />
Today I did something drastically different than my normal routine. Instead of waking up at 7AM I set my alarm to 6 AM the night before, and actually woke up at 5:30 AM (God forbid, who am I?). I told myself I'd try going to the gym in the early AM and see if it makes a difference in how my day would progress. And behold! It's now about 11 AM in the morning, it might be too early to tell but I can tell you I feel significantly more positive and at ease. Not sure if it's because I "accomplished" something that I've never tried before, but the amount of peacefulness that I feel currently is really giving me hope and motivation to become better (whatever that means).<br />
<br />
I arrived at the gym around 6:15 AM and proceeded with my fasted cardio work out. I set the timer on manual and run in intervals of 30 seconds with alternating speeds of 10 and 3.5. I do that for about 10 - 15 mins. I then proceeded to some light weight lifting. The thing about working out with an empty stomach is really a double edged sword, you burn more fat supposedly, but also because of a lack of energy source, you can't work out as hard and thus can't push yourself as much. Regardless, I completed my one hr work out and headed back to work. The goal here is to lose the 10 lbs or ish I put on during this period of time that I no longer want to talk about because I seriously write about it too much. Many people look at me like I'm crazy and tell me I already look like paper, why do I want to lose weight? It's about self image and self love okay? If I feel like losing 10 lbs will make me feel better about myself then I will do just that. (Insert extreme sass here.)<br />
<br />
Back at work, it's about 7:40 AM (This is the time I usually get ready to leave home to come to work, yet I'm already here, feeling pretty good.). It's quiet, not a lot of people are here yet, I check my emails, get some work done, drink my coffee and then got breakfast at the cafe downstairs, all before 8 AM. It is now 11 AM in the morning, and I have been awake, focused, with minimal negative thoughts on my mind. I felt a sense of lightness, almost floaty, and in 30 minutes I will go grab a healthy bite to conclude the morning half of my day.<br />
<br />
Why am I documenting this? Because I want to remember this feeling, the feeling of taking care of myself and completing "goals" despite how small, and the feeling of following through and feeling good about it. Self empowerment is filled with challenges and roadblocks. I felt a strong set back over the weekend with the copious amount of precipitation and lack of sunlight. (Wouldn't it be nice to have someone here next to me to feel like everything is okay? Wouldn't it be nice to just cuddle with someone and eat junk food and watch movies? Yeah it is nice, but you know this is all you know how to do right? At the end of the day that hollow self will never be satiated, and you will never be happy. AND whoever that sad soul is next to you will feel suffocated and become miserable.) However, because I did this for myself today and followed through with it I challenged my body and my mind to try something new and feel good about it. I'm breathing, I'm living, I'm weeding through the darkness that tends to shroud my mind on a daily, little by little.<br />
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So the journey continues...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-4847992655681586422017-03-03T18:49:00.003-08:002017-03-03T19:07:57.795-08:00What My Panic Attacks Feel LikeI don't recall ever getting panic attacks until recent years. I think it was right after I came back home to NorCal that I started having them. At first they would feel like episodes of extreme negativity and I just thought I was having a bad day but they would become more frequent and less expected. Almost like an unwelcome guest who knocks on your door when you are least ready. Eventually they became something I realized I couldn't control and when they would come I'd have to just sit through them and cross my fingers for them to pass quickly.<br />
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As I'm typing this, with tears flooding out of my eyes uncontrollably, I'm having a panic attack. I tell myself to breathe, as methodically as I possibly could, in through the nose and out through the mouth, repeat..."deep breaths, you can do this, deep breaths..." I repeat to myself over and over again.<br />
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The one I'm currently having started off with a decently normal morning, followed by some work, then some lunch time high intensity interval trainings with coworkers (which I quite enjoyed), followed by an afternoon of restlessness and an influx of uncontrollable negative thoughts. I told myself I'd go to happy hour with a co worker and try to fend off this uneasiness I feel. But within that hour behind my mustered laughters I'd feel miserable, and wanted to go home immediately. It felt crippling. I felt uncomfortable and couldn't control the pounding negative thoughts taking over my brain and telling me to suffer. I rush home, immediately take off my makeup and change into something more comfortable, without sweat from lunch time workouts. My brain feels jumbled, my mind continues to race, I feel lost and frantic, I text someone I trust and tell him to give me a minute of comfort because I don't feel well. He calls me, I begin to explain how unwell I feel, and the tears would not stop. I feel despair, hopelessness, and alone...abandoned. I feel like I can't get better. I feel like this journey of self discovery and self love isn't going to have a good outcome, and I feel like I am wasting my time in trying to "be better" on my own. Everything feels miserable and I feel beaten, I feel like I can't make it. In my mind no matter how much I tell myself these are transient feelings that I should just witness and not react to I cannot find and end to this despair. He asks me if anything happened, and I manage to answer no, that I am having a panic attack and I can't control this feeling of hopelessness. He tells me to breath and things will be okay. I continue to tell myself the same. I tell him I will write this down and try to be calm.<br />
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As I'm typing now I realize the tears have stopped, and I feel a bit more calm. I still feel in a daze but because I'd let myself cry I don't feel as miserable. The scary part of having one of these episodes is not being able to control it. The self help books and the ideologies don't come in handy when your mind is going haywire. I have been trying on a daily basis to practice a positive mindset and self love from the moment I wake up in the last few weeks but when these panic attacks hit I am rendered absolutely useless. The last time I had one of these was awhile ago, actually a long while ago, so when today's episode came by I wasn't prepared for it. Now I feel an immense amount of tiredness. My eyes want to close and my breathing slows down.<br />
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I continue to breathe with an intentional methodical pattern, and I wait...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-65042265593447093032017-02-26T22:50:00.004-08:002017-02-26T22:55:25.756-08:00Self Reflection: Self Confidence VS Self EsteemBefore I head to bed I want to quickly write down my sleepy thoughts and the debate I've been having with myself in the last few days. Self confidence and self esteem, I've always thought the two were synonymous and interchangeable. Growing up I used to be super shy and introverted. If you read my previous blog posts you got a sense of what it was like in my younger days when I'd enjoy mostly of activities consisting of me, myself, and I (lol, I really enjoyed the independence and the lack of other people's opinions). As I got older I became a little more extroverted, I liked surrounding myself with people, and I enjoyed getting to know them and connecting on a spiritual level. With more life experiences and social interactions came more self confidence. I felt like I knew how to handle myself socially in front of not only my friends but also strangers, and that the entire process of this human to human interaction was quite enjoyable to me. Because I felt like I was confident in myself and my actions around others I also felt like I had high self esteem and knew my worth.<br />
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However, after 25 years of trial and error, and my newly found effort to self love, I also found myself challenging the idea of self confidence VS self esteem. I read in a book somewhere that self confidences is acquired and comes with experience, while self esteem, really is innate and should be acknowledged to exist since the day you were born. This LITERALLY BLEW MY MIND. I think most of us are under the impression that the two terms are similar enough to be used interchangeably and while you have one you automatically have the other because they're essentially the same. At least this was my perception on the idea of these two terms. I felt like because I was confident and had confidence around people that would naturally translate into having self esteem and knowing my self worth. Because I know how to make people like me I must know what I am worth inside to get what I deserve. After digging deeper through my jumbled mind for the past few days I suddenly realized that I NEVER HAD SELF ESTEEM. </div>
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Growing up I was always a prideful child, I told myself I didn't need anyone else and that I can always be the best if I put my mind to something. I don't need social interactions and I don't need help from others. But I think behind that tough child was a lack of self esteem because no one really taught me to be proud of the innate value that each human being is born with and that we are entitled to this proudness of being human. As I got older I learned to please others so that they would like me, and over time because I got so good at getting people to like me it built my confidence in social situations. Same goes for relationships, for as long as I can remember, in each of my relationships I would try to please my significant other and get them to respect me out of my pleasing them. But you see friends, I've got it all wrong. Because my self confidence came from validation from others and not from within, when you remove the external factors I was left with a hollow shell and an empty heart. When I'd be alone I would feel sad and lonely, I would feel like I need to have the company of someone else, whether it be a lover or a friend. Overtime I found myself constantly looking for companionship, through dating, through friends. I started realizing that I had become a serial dater in that I couldn't stand being alone and the feeling of that excruciating loneliness from the lack of "love" and "validation" to feed my ego and "confidence". In reality, what I really needed was a sense of self esteem and the innate right to my worth and knowing that worth. </div>
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It's not easy to suddenly find that self worth and esteem after 25 years of being ignorant from it. I find it difficult to make myself believe that yes, I AM worth the respect and the love that I deserve. And that I don't need to go out of my way to please others to get that respect and I don't need to latch on when someone doesn't want to give me that respect and love. Because in my heart, I should know to love myself and be proud of that innate right to being human, to have that sense of self esteem, to RESPECT MYSELF ABOVE ANYTHING AND ANYONE ELSE. </div>
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Self confidence comes with experience and practice, but self esteem, should really be in our hearts as the basis to everything we do in life. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that each and every single one of us deserves this self love, and only through acknowledging it to be true can we really have a good foundation for other aspects of our lives. </div>
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Love yourself, accept it, practice it, and find the self esteem that each of us are innately born with. And with that thought, I'll let myself drift off into dream land...</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-30076884797187280042017-02-24T21:04:00.003-08:002017-02-24T21:16:17.572-08:00Self Reflection: Being Emotional VS Being Bound By EmotionsAs mentioned in my previous post, over the years I have realized that I'm a very emotional person. I tend to get caught up with feelings and let them dictate my behaviors. I saw this as "being in tune with myself". I always told myself because I am able to act on my emotions and how I feel in the moment I am being truthful to who I am and I am living a life of honesty and integrity. This had been the case for 25 years and I never questioned it once.<br />
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After 25 years of tumbling through the motions I started to realize that many of the things I've been doing and the "methods" of life that I adopted simply just weren't working for me. I was unhappy, ungrateful, and tired of everything that it was, my life. Upon that realization I eagerly looked for answers in any shape or form, I read a number of self help books and articles after articles regarding the psyche and human functions and stumbled upon something that made me challenge the idea of "being in tune with myself" for the last 25 years.<br />
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The idea was that we as humans are so often affected by our emotions and act upon them despite the consequences that it becomes an invisible shackle which ties us down and makes us suffer. Now, I'm overly simplifying things here in one condensed and not so well structured sentence. But the basic idea here is that we often are so "in tune" with how we "feel", that no matter how destructive this "feeling" may really be and how it may influence us to behave in a non beneficial way towards our lives, we will still stubbornly act upon it because we think we are doing the right thing. This made me think about all the decisions I've made in the past, some were good ones, but many were debilitating. Out of all the ones that hurt me and made me miserable, I continued to make them as time went on and repeated the pattern over and over again because I thought I was being "honest" to my "feelings" and being "in tune with myself". However, what I failed to realize is that emotions are directly linked to our ego, our egoic self wants to act on these emotions regardless of whether it is beneficial or debilitating. Because I acted on every single "feeling" that I had, they, the feelings, dictated my life and my being. I was not really in control of my life. I let my ego and emotions dictate my behaviors and did not filter based on whether the actions would propel my life in a positive and more wholesome direction. And in turn, many of those actions that I took, actually were terrible ones that ended up pushing me deeper and deeper into a hole of misery. I was bounded by my emotions and became a slave to my ego, all the while, thinking that I was "doing the right thing". This continues to feed my ego and thus letting it control more of my life and my being. It became a cycle of toxicity and self inflicted pain-bodies and I did not even realize it.<br />
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Now, being emotional isn't necessarily a bad thing. Having emotions and feeling them is human nature and there is no way we can avoid it all together. However, not all emotions need to be acted upon. Some are good ones that propel us to do things to better ourselves; while some, and I'm very familiar with these, are purely toxic and will influence us to create more negative feelings (thus a cycle continues). I think it's still very possible to be in tune with yourself without acting on every single feeling, instead of acting upon some, simply observe, know that it's there, and watch it pass by. By giving up a reaction to those negative feelings you regain control of yourself and your being, while still very much in touch with yourself. But instead of being bound by your emotions, you now gain ownership to them.<br />
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So yes, while I am a very emotional person and felt like I was "in tune with myself" all my life, truth is, I was just giving myself reasons and excuses to continue a toxic cycle that wasn't working. I now strive to be in tune with myself and also remind myself to realize when a negative feeling is urging me to create a toxic reaction. This requires constant discipline and awareness, something I'm not very familiar with. I know that this journey of self finding and pursuit of joy will take a lot of effort and presence, but I also know as with anything else, hard work will pay off in the end.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-29495898129862556552017-02-22T22:21:00.002-08:002017-02-22T22:36:52.263-08:00Depression, Growing Pains, Why I Haven't Been Blogging, and Other Random ThoughtsScatter brained...<br />
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Sometimes I sit here and ponder about why I get random anxiety attacks, why the world isn't the way I perceived as a child any more, and why things just don't feel right...anymore.<br />
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What changed? What's different? What happened to "happiness" that was once so easily obtained?<br />
Whether it was saving up to get a toy that I wanted badly or simply just running around in the park like a crazy lunatic, being "happy" was never an issue as a child. I remember days I'd read manga on the floor of Borders and completely enjoy every second of it without spending a dime. Things like that... so innocent, so simple, yet made life so fulfilling and happy in that moment.<br />
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Fast forward to today, the same things done in a different time, aren't so fulfilling any more. I spend a good portion of my savings on vain beauty related things, eating out, treating myself, yet at the end of the day I still feel as hollow as ever. I think of running around like a wild lunatic in the park but the only thoughts that follow immediately are how crazy other people are going to think of me. I try to relive the pure bliss I had as a child sitting on the floor of Borders and completely emerging into unrealistic and fantasized scenarios but all I could hear in my mind are cynical remarks of how silly and ridiculous the characters are and how perfect scenarios depicted in these stories almost never occur in reality.<br />
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So what changed then?<br />
I got older. Time wore me down. Life got to me.<br />
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Growing up I never had much, I didn't have a closely knit family, nor did I have many friends. Little things that I did for myself and little goals that I achieved in life really gave me the greatest joy. Every little milestone, every new friend, every "next stage" in life made me feel like I was growing up and becoming someone smarter, better, and life was going to be wonderful. I couldn't wait to fall in love. I couldn't wait to graduate high school and go to college. I couldn't wait to graduate college and get a job and become a member of the society. All of these "couldn't wait" scenarios became reality one by one. Then one day suddenly here I am, sitting in front of a beat up mac book asking myself, why am I not happy?<br />
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As a "blogger" I'm always perceived as a bright, bubbly spirit who is expert at beauty and fashion and that everything in my life is covered with rainbows and sparkles. Sure, I was extremely passionate about beauty and fashion in the beginning, so inspired by every little new trick I learned, I couldn't wait to share with the world. The idea of inspiring others through blogging gave me fuel and made me want to learn... grow... so that I can continue to inspire. Then suddenly one day I saw what the blogging industry has become, a bunch of "pretty" girls shamelessly advertising products and selling their "images" (<strike>sometimes "body"</strike>) in exchange for a penny. I'm guilty of it sometimes too, but that's where it got to me. I didn't want to be one of those girls. I no longer felt inspired nor did I feel like I was worthy any longer to inspire anyone else.<br />
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Social media is a toxic place filled with false advertisements and made up happiness. What you see in one glamorous picture does not depict the entirety of someone's life, and behind that bright smile may be deep sorrows and dark emotions. Most of us rely on the instant gratification that comes from social media to feel validated and sane, to feel like life has a purpose. But once the mirage of social media is taken away, nothing is left. The reason why I haven't been blogging or filming is because I have been struggling with self acceptance and finding clarity in a made up life that I trapped myself in. Social media, validations, acceptance from others. All of it at the end of the day is not integral to my own being. BUT, the very fact that it has dictated my life and my "happiness" became an invisible shackle that rendered me more and more helpless and closer and closer to a dark place that I can't climb out of. I originally started writing this post back in April of 2016. It's almost a year later now, and I came back to this post because one, I can no longer stand this self intoxication that things are okay when they are not, and two, I would like to proactively advocate on topics such as depression and self awareness to maybe, and perhaps, benefit those of you suffering from similar situations.<br />
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I'm not writing this post to gain pity from the world. What I'm beginning to learn is to accept myself and how I feel and not rely on outsourced validations that ultimately mean...nothing to me. I know my "problems" and "confusions" come from deeply rooted issues that were never addressed as a child and I thought burying them away would give me the opportunities to move forward to better things and happier moments in life. I'm also realizing that that's a foolish act. By avoiding these unresolved issues for so long I've only let them build up to the point of no return. I've subconsciously become a slave to them and show that in everything I do and every choice I make in life. I wanted to document my journey to self finding and self acceptance on social media because I know I'm not the only one who feels this way. If my story can help or inspire anyone at all. Even if it's just one other person and allow that person to feel the slightest sense of comfort and reassurance, then my job here is done.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-31505449805456887132017-01-09T16:36:00.001-08:002017-01-09T16:48:59.209-08:00Addiction to Bleached Hair - Grey Hair Formula and how to Grow out Bleached HairI've had bleached hair for about four years now. Can you believe that? Four whopping years of chemical processing and damage. All for the sake of a softer, better framing look that also equates to tons of effort and endless struggles and mishaps along the way.<br />
It had been almost four years ago that I decided to walk into a random salon and attempt the "blonde" look and walked out with a semi yellow, borderline orange bob that would be the gateway to my four years of hair bleaching and color experimentation. I had been pink, purple, blue, green, you name it, I'd been there. Needless to say, there's an underlying addiction problem that I don't want to admit. But four years later, we are still here, hair as bleached as ever.<br />
Not only has bleached hair given me the opportunity to experiment with color, it also let me express different attitudes of life. It even served as a rebellious method of my anti conventional ways against corporate oppression. (We will leave that for another discussion. :P).<br />
Just recently I've gone grey again. This time I want to say that I love it so much despite the damage that my poor head had to endure to get here. Im in the process of growing out my bleach damaged hair, but as you continue to bleach and damage more of the new growth, it's very hard, and almost impossible to get any length. Regardless, I'm now at a little beneath my shoulders and my hair is slowly, but surely, getting longer. What I also noticed is that as your hair gets longer, it also becomes more fragile in that longer, bleached hair is more prone to breakage, and you will notice a lot more pieces of hairs clogging your shower drain.<br />
Today I want to share with you guys some tips on growing out bleached hair and also the formula that took me to the grey color that I have now.<br />
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<b>Tip 1: Don't wash your hair every day.</b><br />
Washing your hair every day strips the natural oils and moisture out of your hair, causing dryness. One fatal damage to bleached hair is dryness. If your hair is super bleached and lacks moisture, you may find that it will break halfway towards the ends or even higher if the damage had been more serious. To combat this issue, avoid washing your hair every day. Try every other day or even every three days. On those days that you are avoiding washing, try a dry shampoo. One of my favorites is the Herbal Essences Naked Dry Shampoo. It has a calming citrus scent and really keeps my oily head manageable until the next wash.<br />
<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61Ao3WnvF3L._SX522_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img alt="Herbal Essences Naked Dry Shampoo 4.9 Oz, 4.900-Fluid Ounce" border="0" height="200" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/61Ao3WnvF3L._SX522_.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
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You can purchase it <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Herbal-Essences-Naked-Shampoo-4-900-Fluid/dp/B00FXOPP08" target="_blank">here </a>on Amazon, or at any local drugstore. </div>
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<b>Tip 2: Use a protein re-constructor as necessary. </b></div>
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Bleached hair lacks pigment and protein, a lot of times you may find your bleached hair feeling gummy and stringy. This is a sign of over-processing and you should definitely invest in a good protein treatment to give your hair some life back. A currently favorite, also a new find, is the Nexxus Polymedic Emergency Reconstructor. My hair has really taken a toll in its recent trip to the salon, I found a lot of new breakage and parts of it felt gummy. I left this stuff on in the shower for about 5 minutes and the next day my hair felt 80% more normal. I was able to comb through it and I even dared to tug at it with very minimal hair coming out. I have yet to see the benefit of continued use, but at first try, it has definitely impressed me enough to recommend to others. </div>
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<a href="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/615ASXtcU6L._SY679_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Nexxus Polymedic Emergency Reconstructor, 6 Ounce" border="0" height="200" src="https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/615ASXtcU6L._SY679_.jpg" width="50" /></a></div>
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You can purchase it <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Nexxus-Polymedic-Emergency-Reconstructor-Ounce/dp/B004RE9N1W/ref=sr_1_6_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1484006836&sr=1-6&keywords=nexxus+emergencee+reconstructing+treatment" target="_blank">here </a>on Amazon, or any local drugstore. </div>
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<b>Tip 3: Avoid heat styling and and tough manipulations. </b></div>
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I am definitely guilty of this one. Heat styled bleached hair looks SO MUCH BETTER. But heat is also a culprit of drying out your hair. And with our brittle, bleached hair, less heat is always better. If you must heat style, remember to use a heat protectant or a light oil to coat the hair prior to applying heat appliances. Also avoid tugging, strong brushing, and anything that requires an effort on the hair. Use a wide toothed comb to de-tangle and avoid hard combing all together. </div>
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<u>Now onto my new hair: </u></div>
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I was bad and used a box dye in the top 1/5 of my head when my roots started coming in. NEVER USE A BOX DYE, IT WILL NOT COME OUT. I had then used a Demi black color I got from Sally's Beauty Supply to cover that brown box dye. The results were visually pleasant, but deep down inside I knew to remove the color deposit was going to be an arduous and damaging process. </div>
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<img alt="Displaying Snapchat-1882107965.jpg" height="320" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=867f8c2c8e&view=fimg&th=15985c6d1665f0e6&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1556094534572572672-local0&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ-DxGogpFjxXvCpGd48X0kOrWtx1LR95vwTrmYEMJvc4kkF3q4lHSnF4O655uLqhwgefxqH1viUbiZavmsGQ0m7sAeeBWqkLwcYjcTfy9G-5ubnCbxLsW2bf30&ats=1484008159549&rm=15985c6d1665f0e6&zw&sz=w1920-h995" width="190" /></div>
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Black to purple ombre</div>
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That brings us to my current color, I decided I no longer wanted a black to light purple ombre and it was time to attempt to bleach the roots. I went in to the salon telling them to bleach my hair with a 30% developer with Olaplex added. This was left in the hair for about an hour. I knew there were going to be some banding from the permanent box dye I used, and what do you know, I ended up with huge orange bands that required further bleaching. In the second round of bleaching we went in with the 30% bleach directly in the orange sections and did not add Olaplex. Left that in for about 20 minutes and the bands were much lighter despite a hint of orangeness. </div>
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Okay, so at this point my hair has really taken a toll. I don't remember having this damaged of hair for...years. Since my last salon mishap which I don't want to bring up ever again. That was a whole mess in itself. I was not careful again and let the bleach process for too long in the hair. Parts of my hair that had overlapped bleach felt...gummy. God that's my least favorite word. -_- I decided to overlook it and just deal with it later. At this point, getting rid of the orange band and having some hair on my head is more important than having a lot of hair of my head and a huge orange band...I guess. Not to mention the assistant was raking through my hair while blow drying with a force that compelled my head to move vigorously from side to side...-_- You can imagine how much hair fell out right? Okay let's just ignore all of that and move on to the formula. </div>
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Prior to any color application my hair is now mostly level 9 and some parts 8 (orange bands) and some 10 (overlapped bleach parts). So overall it's pretty light. We went in with Kenra 7SM all over and that left my hair a light blue grey. I then went in with Lunar Tides Slate Grey in the roots and smudged it down about 2-3 inches. This stuff is the bomb, I love the shade of grey it is, a little purply and mostly neutral. </div>
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<img alt="Slate Grey Hair Dye" height="160" src="https://img0.etsystatic.com/130/0/8125413/il_570xN.1020030698_pati.jpg" width="200" /></div>
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You can purchase it <a href="https://www.etsy.com/listing/193740659/slate-grey-hair-dye" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
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After a few days of washing the shades have blended in much more seemlessly and after the Nexxus reconstructor my hair is now manageable again. (RIP to the pieces that fell out in this process, you guys will be remembered in honor.)</div>
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<img alt="Displaying Snapchat-2137345780.jpg" height="320" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=867f8c2c8e&view=fimg&th=159859eb0f40de1a&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1556092504789483520-local0&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ96DN_RCX4OqX8kt9k22Uu_ObpUs8XKYAcmyf6oDg0s8L0CiuL6qa7KKBHQfBgdR5k9K2u_IIHiq7C6Ic9VHI_eOYwifNtM0Oq16lfVY1KCmfcrIKRL6q-kle8&ats=1484007465223&rm=159859eb0f40de1a&zw&sz=w1920-h995" width="178" /> <img alt="Displaying Snapchat-496852962.jpg" height="320" src="https://mail.google.com/mail/u/0/?ui=2&ik=867f8c2c8e&view=fimg&th=159859eb0f40de1a&attid=0.2&disp=inline&realattid=1556092504789483520-local1&safe=1&attbid=ANGjdJ-qwSIIvTXZ4d83si6DZSBSRL5RFKmRUbDJmGQiXAJnlVx_hX2NXcsnU-Y2oyXmceLaoPkk-UMqQvZrr2F-O7Zmg3BR9bcFRhRCB-ZXuYxMvNp_V7HirJlLe34&ats=1484007465223&rm=159859eb0f40de1a&zw&sz=w1920-h995" width="178" /></div>
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Slate grey to light grey ombre</div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzR-rEbymkHCFiPy4KbyH0ivtoudQnq3N9ZJ2vGmxulKu-zqnu0KVcZE1Wb0rSDSKJu6sskO1f2HgZ4GsdqSw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<span style="text-align: left;">I guess the final verdict is that, YES I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH BLEACHING MY HAIR. I AM ADDICTED. But lighter hair give such a different appearance and give me a much softer look that I just can't resist. Let's cross our fingers and hope I have hair left on my head in 10 years... lol. </span></div>
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If you want to see my hair in action you can follow me on SNAPCHAT: <complete id="goog_2064879088"><b>@lazybumtot</b></complete></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-19933680337487308962016-12-20T13:25:00.003-08:002017-02-06T15:06:30.530-08:00Re-channeling LBTAs 2016 comes to a close I began to think about the journey that had taken place since I've created LazybumToT. It's been so many years that I forget what exactly made me want to film that very first video on my HP lap top web cam but I have to give it to the LBT then because she was fearless.<br />
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Fast forwarding to today, I no longer feel like I identify with the girl then, who so passionately loved to create and influence. I've gotten a desk job in a corporation and sit inside my little cubicle every day doing the things that my superiors assign to me. Then I go home and think to myself, "wow I'm really tired" or "I feel so exhausted for some reason". Just like that, days go by, then months, years. </div>
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Living behind a wall created by yours truly means I really can't complain much because I live a "comfortable" and "safe" life. I gave up the hustle and bustle of the YouTube world for a long time because I seemed to have lost my direction and purpose in that world. As more skilled and more passionate YouTubers saturate the platform I couldn't help but feel defeated and not worthy to stand behind the LBT channel. I'm not super skilled with makeup, or hair. My style really isn't that unique. These thoughts... led me to think that maybe I wasn't worthy enough to put anything else on the channel to waste people's time. The older I got the more I felt like maybe I am just REALLY FULL OF SHIT. </div>
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Then suddenly it hit me.</div>
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The me back then really didn't need a reason to make that first video. I made that decision purely out of...impulse. The person that I was led me this many years into the YouTube world, and led me to so many of YOU. And if I just give up now, I'd be disappointing so many of you. Growing up from an awkward teenager to the young woman that I am today included so many of you along the way, the countless support and encouragements, which really warmed my heart and made the whole experience that much better. So I guess what I'm really trying to say is I would like to continue this journey, with everyone of you. And make this an even better experience for all of us. </div>
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What this means is, LBT needs a makeover. I am no longer the 16 year old little girl who played with makeup and giggled because that made me so happy that I'd forget everything else. Neither are some of you. Along the way we've grown, we've changed, life became a little more complicated and many things aren't so dainty and easy any more. Putting on a full face of make up and dressing up can no longer hold the fort down in many scenarios, and hell, SHIT GETS REAL HARD sometimes. This is where the makeover comes in. I would like to be more genuine, I would like to be more realistic, less of the fairy princess BS and more of what's present. There are things like anxiety and depression that I never talked about because I felt like it would interfere with the fairy princess image that LBT stood for. There were things like living with an abusive father and not knowing how to deal with the repercussions and growing up confused. Or, watching my co-dependent mother suffer and cope with a toxic relationship because she wants to keep a "wholesome" family for her children. Aside from these things also came things like working in a corporation where I don't identify, developing a fake personality so I can cope with this foreign environment. And other really fucked up shit that I never really exposed on social media because I was too AFRAID to show you guys the REAL ME. </div>
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Tying back to the channel, I would like to show you guys all of the things that make me LBT. Not just the fairy princess, naive, innocently hopeful side, but also the dark, helpless, and confused me who really plays a large portion of my day to day life. I know a lot of us suffer from mental health issues but I was too afraid to share with the rest of the world some of the thoughts that hindered me useless as a human being. Going into 2017 I'd like to come face to face with that side and get really personal with you guys regarding them. But this doesn't mean LBT will no longer be a safe haven for all things fairy princess-esque. Instead of being "innocently hopeful" and "naive", I'd like to present a more practical side of the sparkly and glamorous LBT, a side that is more applicable to the hustle and bustle of the real world. Because after all, we all have to try to make life work, don't we? </div>
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To be honest, I'm jump starting LBT as a new project for 2017 because I need it. I find myself living in a state of being "lost" for so long sometimes that I forget who I am as a person or even what I want to be as a person. I think there's something therapeutic about blogging and I would like to take advantage of that if that's okay with you guys. Let's strive to be a better version of ourselves in 2017, and together, create a more mature, and more relatable LBT.</div>
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2017, I'M READY FOR YOU.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-13372554906470798052016-06-27T22:55:00.001-07:002016-06-27T22:55:03.819-07:00Miracle Products for Acne Scars<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-71426386481506665682016-03-14T23:08:00.003-07:002016-03-14T23:08:33.672-07:00Random Haul / Lookbook<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe width="320" height="266" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/jINjz717tF4/0.jpg" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/jINjz717tF4?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-57332971553657471402016-03-10T22:49:00.001-08:002016-03-10T22:49:59.873-08:00Incisional Double Eyelid Update at 1 Yr + 2 Months<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span id="goog_1653298236"></span><span id="goog_1653298237"></span><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-25968514510800670092016-03-02T23:40:00.002-08:002016-03-02T23:40:58.941-08:00Everyday Drugstore Eye Makeup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<i>Full tutorial on LBT:</i></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" class="YOUTUBE-iframe-video" data-thumbnail-src="https://i.ytimg.com/vi/uFo55U03ZzI/0.jpg" frameborder="0" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/uFo55U03ZzI?feature=player_embedded" width="320"></iframe></div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-84027425260536564502015-11-10T19:35:00.000-08:002015-11-10T19:35:59.139-08:00LazyBumTuTorial | Everyday Ulzzang ft. Memebox x Pony Shine Easy Glam II <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-35114306779039508172015-10-20T23:04:00.001-07:002015-10-20T23:04:40.550-07:00Bigger Eyes | Double Eyelid Makeup (Monolid, Hooded Lids) <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2630715106907029119.post-77667370091044592362015-10-13T23:16:00.001-07:002015-10-13T23:16:35.177-07:00How I Put In Clip In Hair Extensions <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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